The Most Powerful Question to Ask in Business.
Years ago, while navigating the fast-paced world of insurtech, I found myself in the thralls of burn out. My ambition was boundless: I wanted to serve my clients well, impress my supervisors, climb the corporate ladder—all while maintaining a sense of inner peace. As you can imagine, something had to give.
I was overwhelmed, often unable to say ‘no,’ stuck in a perpetual state of fight or flight. As a young woman in corporate America, I was eager to prove I belonged. I wasn’t just someone’s connection hire. I was the only project manager in my organization without a master’s degree or a background in project management or technology. I felt like I had had to earn my spot and showcase my value. I drove myself to the brink of burnout, chasing validation from others instead of trusting in my own abilities.
It wasn’t until I let go of the need to prove myself to others that I found my true ‘why’ in business.
One particular moment stands out in my mind as I recall that season of life. I was sitting on my office floor, emotionally exhausted, laptop in hand. On the other end of a Teams call was my boss’s boss’s boss—yes, you read that right. She was a phenomenal mentor who took a moment to sit with me in my state of suffering—that could teach a lesson in leadership all in itself. In that vulnerable moment, Christie asked me a simple, yet profound question that changed the way I approached my teams and clients forever:
“Lauren, what does relief look like to you?”
As I gulped down my tears, I let out a sigh of relief when she asked me that because I felt seen. While it might seem unprofessional to share this, I believe it’s essential for you to understand what was really happening. Christie wasn’t pointing out my mistakes or telling me how to fix them. Instead, she gave me the space to reflect, to define what was holding me back. She could have removed a hundred obstacles, but none of them would have mattered if they weren’t the obstacle I was viewing.
Fast forward to today, and that question remains at the heart of how I approach both clients and teams. Today as I am years ahead of that defining moment, my ears perked up during a client call, as a member of our leadership team asked that very question to our customer in a state of distress.
“Pat, what does success look like to you?”
In consulting, identifying problems and offering solutions is important, but it’s only a singular part of the process. The real power lies in asking the right question first: What’s standing in the way of your relief or success?
That one question can uncover the true pain point—often something deeply personal to the client, and possibly something you, as the professional, didn’t even consider. No solution will matter if the client’s core concern isn’t addressed.
I encourage you as a business leader, ask your struggling, burnt out employee that question. Lead your client calls with that defining value question. Allow yourself to listen, not assume as you detect the point of relief for your customers and team.
At the end of the day, business is about more than solving problems; it’s about building trust and understanding what matters most to the people you serve. When you ask this simple yet powerful question, you tap into the heart of the challenge, unlocking the path to meaningful results.
